John with his brother Pat and his sister Ashley Christmas Morning.

Thank you, Lord, for our 16 years with our dear son, John. I miss his broad smile and bright eyes. I miss his ambitious spirit and kind nature, his funny faces he always made and his determination. Sixteen years, but how my heart longs for more. Lord, what I am most thankful for is that John was the Christian young man I prayed for, an example to friends and family. He was a young man who prayed daily. Eternity will be ours to share together. This life is only temporary and fleeting. Thank you, Lord, for the answer to prayer that my son’s life would be used in a mighty way and it is, but little did I now it would be through his death. Thank you, Lord, for the provision. For those who have surrounded us with love and compassion. Oh, how they are a reflection of your love for us. Thank you, Lord, for your word, for your promise, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” You and only you, oh Lord, are my anchor, my hope, my strength in time of trouble. John’s name (Hebrew origin) means “Given by God.” Given by God John truly was.

-Doreen Tomlin


Left to right (clockwise): John, mom Doreen, father John, Grandma Beverly, Pat and Ashley.





September 1, 1982, was one of the happiest days of my life. My first grandchild, John Robert Tomlin, was born. I knew he would always be so special blessed being a child of God, but also because he had wonderful God-fearing parents to raise him—Doreen and my son, John. [John’s father’s name is also John.] That was a relief for this Grandmother. I didn’t live close by to watch John’s day-by-day growth, but we always enjoyed our times together, our phone chats and letters. I treasure John’s letters. They were short, but held important data about him and he always closed with a cartoon. John was quite an artist. He was pleased when I told him I had taken a course in oils. I sent him a copy of the picture and he painted the same thing, only better. His cartoons showed a great imagination. John frequently mentioned his savings. He always had a goal for a major purchase, the last, of course, being his truck. I was there when he and his dad went out to look at his truck. He was so proud, and I also, for his accomplishments. John had grown into such a fine young man. He was a hard worker, and seemed to have direction in his life, had a low-key sense of humor which wasn’t readily noticed, and was kind and showed empathy for others. I miss Johnny a lot. Even though we lived a distance apart, he was always with me in my heart and mind and he always will be. I imagined our relationship becoming more and more special as time went on. And now the time is till we meet again. One thing I will hold precious forever is the ending of our phone chats- “I love you, grandma.”

-Beverly Bristow
(Paternal Grandmother)





The John Tomlin I Knew
By Michelle Oetter

It all started with a simple Wednesday night. I went to youth group the same way I had every week. I was talking with some friends when he walked up. We had met before; a friend, Jacob, had introduced us a week before. We had a small conversation, asked each other how work was and if anything exciting had happened. Then he said good night and started to walk away. About three steps later he turned around and called my name. I turned to see what he wanted. He stared at the ground, took a deep breath and mumbled something that I honestly didn’t understand. I asked him what he said. He looked at me with big blue eyes under his hat and said, “Do you think you might want to go to the movies sometime?” I smiled. Any guy who had enough guts to ask a girl out after the first time they met deserved at least a chance. Three days later, after who knows how many messages on the answering machine, we went on our first date.

John showed up that night in jeans and a black shirt. I heard him coming a block away in his truck! We went to see the movie Rush Hour, and while I had been impressed by his guts to ask me out, I was floored by what a gentleman he was. We pulled into the parking lot at the movie theatre and both got out of the truck. John stopped and looked at me across the hood. I turned to see what he was waiting on and he asked me what I was doing. I gave him a very confused look and asked if we were still going to see the movie. He said “yes,” and then asked me why I had gotten out of the truck. Then, with the most honest and sincere look in his eyes, he said, “Michelle, I don’t know what other guys you have gone out with, but as long as you are with me you will never, ever touch a door.” As I stood there speechless, I realized that John Tomlin was nothing like any guy I had ever known.

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, he proved to me again and again how different he was and how incredible our relationship was. As we dated, John and I became the closest of friends. We told each other everything, knowing with all our hearts that the other would never look down on us for the things we struggled with, or make each other feel stupid for hurting over things. I knew that whatever was going on in my life, he would a shoulder to cry on. He was always there to give me a hug when it was desperately needed, and he was someone who would continually pray for me and take it all to Jesus. We counted on each other to be praying constantly for our relationship with Christ and with each other.

John was so easy to talk to, and he had this amazing way of making me laugh. John had a smile that made me melt, and I couldn’t see him smile and stay upset with him for anything. He was quiet around a lot of people, but the truth is he was an absolute goof ball! It was impossible to spend more than five minutes with him and laugh at something he said or did. All it usually took to get me to laugh was the light in his eyes and his big grin when we quoted movie lines, or told stupid jokes. It was so much fun to watch him playing with toys at K-Mart, or beat me bowling or looking at Chevy’s. John enjoyed so many simple things like driving through the mud and the snow in his truck, or going on walks in the park or eating M&M’s and ice cream.

John had a way of sweeping me off my feet time and time again. He was so romantic. Not in the ways some people might think of, but in the little things that meant the world to me. Any girl will understand what I am talking about; he was so good at the little things that showed he really cared. He took me to Red Lobster for Valentine’s Day. I know that might not seem like a big deal, but as we were getting ready to order, he looked up and told me he didn’t know what to get, that he really didn’t like fish. I asked him why we were at Red Lobster if he didn’t like fish and he told me that he had heard me tell a friend once how much I loved it, so he wanted to take me there. There were many nights when we would just sit on the hood of his truck (it had no bed) and we would talk and look at the stars.

The Monday night before he died he told me that he had bought me BBQ sunflower seeds for softball practice because he had been thinking about me and remembered that BBQ was my favorite. Little things like that made John so special. He was the kind of man I could trust and count on and cry to. He was the kind of friend I could laugh with and have fun doing absolutely nothing with. He was the answer to my prayer that showed me real love isn’t words, it isn’t kisses, and it isn’t empty promises. John showed me that real love is wanting to be with someone for exactly who they are, and being able to sacrifice some things to be together.

I thank God for every minute spent together. I thank Him for the hope that I have because Jesus Christ died on the cross. I know that John had a personal relationship with Jesus, and because I have that relationship as well I know that I will see him again. I know that someday we will be together in Heaven and we will be able to worship Christ together at His throne. I have also seen that God is in complete control, no matter what life brings, His love is faithful and unchanging and He alone will carry me through and give me the strength to go on.

I miss John, and he will always have a special place in my heart, but my prayer is that God will continue to use his death to reach people and to change lives. Sometimes things may seem out of control. No one seems to be able to stop the madness, and no one understand why things happen, but God knows exactly what He is doing, and because Jesus Christ was raised from the dead, He has overcome.

John 16:33 says, “In this world you will face many troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” 1 John 4:4 says, “You dear children, are from God, and have overcome because greater is He who is in you that he who is in the world.” Don’t lose heart whatever happens, because God is always in control.




Dear Mr. and Mrs. John Tomlin,

I would like to offer my sincere and deepest sympathy on the loss of your son John. My human heart cannot begin to understand the pain and sorrow of your tragic loss.

If you would allow me a moment of your time, I would like to share with you how your son’s life has changed my son’s life—forever. The last week of July my two children and I attended Ponderosa Youth Camp, I as a sponsor and they as high school students. Both of my children have been raised in the church. My daughter, Martha, gave her life to Christ as a junior high student. Yet, my son, Coltt, seemed unreachable and unwilling to allow Christ to enter his life. As a parent I prayed constantly for his heart to be softened and for him to make the decision to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior.

It was the last night of camp and my hopes of Coltt making a personal decision were dimming. Little did I know that a very special young lady was going to share a very special message. The speaker was John’s girlfriend, I believe her name was Michelle. She shared the story of John’s life and his commitment to the Lord. She told of a young man who was intelligent, happy, and loved his Savior. She gave us all a glimpse at what a marvelous impact John had on his family, friends, school and church. Her testimony was moving and she presented it with honesty and love. After she concluded, numerous young people stood to form long lines going to the front of the building. These young people learned of a loving God, whom John served. These same young people dedicated and rededicated their lives to Christ.

As parents you’ll know the joy I had, when I looked up from my own praying to see my son at the front of the line. Through tears of my own, I saw his weeping eyes and knew that he had at long last given his heart to Jesus Christ. Coltt was two weeks shy of his 17th birthday. Since that time, Coltt has been baptized and has dedicated his life to ministry. He plans to go on a mission trip in the summer. Now during silent reading time, at school, he reads his Bible. He spends his days freely sharing what he’s learned with all that will listen. He has become actively involved in several areas of our church and the youth group.

I know that your tragic loss of John will not be eased by what I shared with you. Yet, I needed to tell you how many lives John’s life has touched. I needed you to know that, because of your love for your son, John was a brave and beautiful young man who is still touching the lives of many young people across the nation. I am eternally grateful for John and when my work on earth is done, I can hardly wait to meet the young man who has forever changed the life of my son and family.

Thank you for allowing me to enter your lives and share with you this story. You will be forever in my prayers. May God’s mercy and love flow freely on your broken hearts.

Sincerely,
Rhonda Conner