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<<-VoDkA->>
9-5-97
Life, sux
My thoughts
oooh god, i want to die sooo bad… such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable i feel i am… not fair, NOT FAIR!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it!!! let’s sum up my life… the most miserable existence in the history of time… My best friend has ditched me forever, lost in bettering himself, & having/enjoying/ taking for granted his love.… Ive NEVER knew this… not 100 times near this… they look at me [edited] like I’m a stranger; I helped them both out thru life, & they left me in the abyss of suffering when i gave them the boat out. The one who I thought was my true love, [edited], is not. Just a shell of what I want the most… The meanest trick was played on me - a fake love…She in reality doesn’t give a good fuck about me… doesn’t even know me..… I have no happiness, no ambitions, no friends, & no LOVE!!! [Edited] can get me that gun I hope, I wanna use it on a poor S.O.B. I know… his name is vodka, dylan is his name too. What else can I do/give… i stopped the pornography, I try not to pick on people. Obviously at least one power is against me. [edited]… funny how Ive been thinking about her over the last few days… giving myself fake realities that she, others MIGHT have liked me just a  bit… my god, I have always been hated, by everyone & everything, just now more… Goodbye all the crushes ive ever had, just shells… images, no [scribble] truths… BUT WHY? Yes, you can read this, why did god [incoherent scrawl]
[arrow points down to text below]
A dark time,
infinite sadness,
I want to find
love.
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